Creepy Lawsuit
by Wish I Was A Pirate
Summary: Gwen is in big trouble unless she can find a lawyer. But will she develop feelings for her new attorney, or just a creepy obsession? One sided Gwourtney. Rated M. Co-Write with Unfathomed Stars!


On a beautiful sunny morning in Canada, Gwen was happily asleep. "No, Duncan," she moaned between stores. "I don't want a piercing there." Soon, her breathing slowed, and she peacefully slept on.

Until the ring of the phone made her move slightly. The call passed, but it shortly ran again, then again, then again until finally she woke up. She checked her voicemail. Eight missed calls She was about to lay back down when the phone rang yet again. She picked it up.

"Who the hell is calling? It's only nine o'clock!" And you called nine freaking-" she sighed. "Trent, what is it this time?"

"How'd you know it was me?" Trent asked from the other end of the phone.

"Only you'd be insane enough to call nine freaking times, now I asked you, what the hell do you want?!" Gwen yelled on the phone.

"I want nine children." Trent said blandly.

"Nine children? How am I going to help you with that Trent?"

"By having sex with me. 9 times. For 9 hours a day." Trent told her on the phone, as if she was stupid.

Gwen choked after hearing this. 9 hours of sex? He has got to be kidding!

"You have got to be kidding, Trent!"

"No, i'm not. The nine god demands I have nine children."

Gwen chuckled. "Nine God? How obsessed have you gotten? And what makes you think I'll help you please your "nine god"." Gwen said emitting quotation marks with her fingers.

"Because," Trent said evilly, " If you don't I'll blow up 9 states and it'll all be your fault."

Gwen groaned. "Trent, Canada doesn't have states."

"Then I'll blow up the world's supply of maple syrup!"

She gasped. "You wouldn't dare."

"Watch me."

"Fine," Gwen sighed. "I'll be right over."

She hung up the phone, then picked up the knife that was conveniently lying on her bedside table.

"But we're not going to be knocking me up nine times," she said to herself, grinning evilly.

* * *

She drove to Trent's house, and rang the doorbell.

"Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen Gwen?" Trent called.

"Open the door!" she yelled back.

"Not until you ring the doorbell eight more times!"

Gwen's expression darkened. "I'm not going to ring the doorbell 8 more times, psycho."

"Then I'm not coming!" Trent said like a toddler with a tantrum.

Gwen smiled. "Then I guess you failed the nine god!" She said slowly walking off, but was stopped in her tracks when Trent ran and opened the door.

"What made you change your mind, Trent?" Gwen asked him.

"I heard you take 9 steps. Now, come in and sit on any of my 9 couches, Gwen."

Gwen smiled. "Oh, it'll be my pleasure..." she said while twiddling the knife through her fingers, Trent stupid enough not to notice it.

"So Trent... nice wallpaper," Gwen said nervously, taking in the bright orange paper with '9' scrawled all over it in red ink. "I love the color!"

"It's ninetastic!" Trent replied cheerfully. "I use the blood of disbelievers to give the nines their beautiful glow!"

"That's., um, lovely." she said, twiddling the knife between her fingers.

"Enough small talk!" Trent commanded. "It's time to get started!" He removed his shirt, and Gwen cringed at the tattoos of little nines scattered around his stomach and rib cage. She went out on a limb and guessed that there were nine .

"What are you waiting for! Getting you pregnant nine times is gonna take a while! Nine whiles, to be exact!"

"Just getting in the mood," Gwen said. She took out the knife and held it behind her back, feeling the cold, sharp, blade, satisfied that it'd be perfect for the situation at hand.

"FOR THE NINE GOD!" Trent screamed, and threw himself at Gwen, hands reaching outwards. Before they could reach their target, Gwen whipped out the knife and plunged it into his chest.

"Gwen?" He croaked.

"Sorry but not sorry," she said, shooting him a fake smile. "No one wakes me up before noon on a Sunday and lives to tell the tale."

He coughed, choking up a mouthful of blood. "You're crazy."

"Hey, you killed people to use their blood for your wallpaper. You have no room to talk."

The puddle of blood around Trent was growing by the second, and the life slowly drained from his eyes.

"YOU'LL ROT IN TEN FOR THIS, GWENDOLYN! YOU'RE NEW NAME SHALL BE GWENDOLYNN, BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE NINE LETTERS IN YOUR NAME! NINE IS AN HONOR, AND YOU'RE JUST A BIT-" His voice slowly weakened, and with one more moan of "Nine!" he slumped over, dead as a Fan fiction forum at four in the morning.

Gwen laughed sardonically. "That'll teach him," she said, stepping over the body.

"THE BODY!" Gwen propped him up, and pushed him into the closet.

"Ta da! No one will ever know!" she said, and spent the next hour happily eating the Cheetos from Trent's pantry.

* * *

A knock at the door made her jump up. The body was safely in the closet, so she let the visitor in.

"Gosh Gwen, what are you doing here?" said Harold. "I needed to ask Trent about the- what's the giant pile of blood doing on the floor?"

"Oh, I cut myself shaving," Gwen lied.

"Oh, cool- WHY THE HELL IS THERE A FOOT STICKING OUT OF THE CLOSET?" He rushed over, opened the door, and pulled out the body.

"GOSH GWEN! YOU'RE SUCH AN IDIOT!" Before Harold could call the police, Gwen quickly stabbed him 23 times in the chest before decapitating his motionless body for extra measure.

Gwen stood over the motionless body-well, motionlessly. She couldn't believe she just killed someone, let alone two! Ugh, Duncan was such a bad influence! Too bad if he was here right now he'd probably laugh at how incapable she was at murdering and hiding the bodies successfully.

"Oh no Oh No! What am I going to do... think Gwen think!" She then sat down on the couch and ate Trent's Cheetos to help her think of what her next move would be.

After a long 9 minutes she finally decided that she would go to the store, buy some kleenex and clean the floor from the blood. Then she would feed the bodies to a hungry dog and she'd be home free. But before she could go to the store and buy what she needed, 3 men barged in through the front door.

"Keep your hands where I can see them!" One of the men said.

Gwen froze and put her hands up in the air next to immediately. _Damn cops, she thought to herself, how'd they know I killed anybody? Maybe it was that pesky preppy family next door, ugh, I knew I should have covered the curtains when I killed Trent._

One of the cops took the knife out of her hand and handcuffed her. "You have the right to remain silent." He told her.

"And you have the right to where deodorant! You reek of pit sweat." She rudely told the cop.

"And you reek of human blood. You are going to be put in court in 3 days, and my money is on the judge giving you the death penalty. I suggest you get a lawyer." The cop said while the 3 of them dragged a now kicking and screaming Gwen outside. Once out they threw her into the police car and immobilized her.

Gwen was sitting in the cop car scared. _I am SO not getting that death penalty. I really need to get a lawyer now, but who would even **think **about working for me..._

One of the cops cut off Gwen's train of thought with a message.

'It's for you." He said handing her the phone.

Gwen glared at them. "I'm handcuffed, remember you prick?"

The cop laughed. "I know, I just wanted to see your reaction. I'll put him on speaker."

Gwen sighed and waited for the person on the other line to start talking.

"Hello, Gwen?" The person on the other side of the phone said.

"Yeah, it's Gwen. What the fuck do you want, i'm kinda busy now." She stated coldly.

"No need for that kind of language with me! Anyways, I think I found you a lawyer."

Gwen's day just brightened up a smidge.

* * *

**Well there you have it for this chapter! Who is the mystery man on the other end of the phone, who is the lawyer he/she found and will Gwen fall in love with them? Answers to all these questions next time on Creppy LawSuit! **

**Thanks to Unfathomed stars for helping write this story with me, check out her stuff!**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


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